How to Find the Perfect Unicorn For Your Marriage: A Guide for Couples Who Want to Add a Third Person to Their Relationship

How to Find the Perfect Unicorn For Your Marriage


In this article we will discuss on How to Find the Perfect Unicorn For Your Marriage. In the realm of modern relationships, the term “unicorn” has taken on a new meaning. No longer confined to mythical creatures, it now refers to a unique individual who is willing to join an existing couple in a polyamorous or non-monogamous relationship. Finding the perfect unicorn for your marriage requires open communication, empathy, and a deep understanding of everyone’s needs and boundaries. This article delves into the intricacies of this delicate process, offering insights and advice on how to navigate the journey of finding the ideal partner to complement your existing relationship.

Finding the perfect unicorn for your marriage requires a delicate balance of communication, understanding, and shared values. A unicorn refers to a third person who joins an existing couple for a romantic relationship, often involving emotional and sexual connections with both partners. To embark on this journey, it’s crucial to prioritise open and honest conversations with your partner about your desires, boundaries, and expectations.

Begin by discussing the motivations behind seeking a unicorn partner. Is it to enhance intimacy, explore new dynamics, or simply to share love? Ensure that both you and your partner are on the same page and have a clear understanding of your individual needs and limits.

Effective communication extends to potential unicorn partners as well. When engaging with someone who could become a part of your relationship, establish a connection built on trust and mutual respect. Understand their expectations, boundaries, and long-term goals to ascertain compatibility.

Respect and consent are paramount. Ensure that everyone involved is comfortable and enthusiastic about the arrangement. Establish ground rules that prioritise the well-being of all parties and maintain constant communication to address any concerns that may arise.

Remember that finding the right unicorn takes time. Patience is key in navigating this intricate process. Be prepared for ups and downs, and remain adaptable as you navigate this unique journey in your marriage. Ultimately, the perfect unicorn will be someone who complements your relationship and brings joy, growth, and fulfilment to all involved.

Understanding Your Motivations:

Before embarking on the journey to find a unicorn, it’s essential for you and your partner(s) to reflect on your motivations. Are you seeking to enhance your emotional connection, explore new experiences, or simply add variety to your relationship? Honest self-assessment will help you articulate your intentions clearly and ensure that all parties involved are on the same page.

Communication and Consent:

Open and honest communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship, and it’s even more crucial when seeking a unicorn. All parties must have a platform to express their desires, concerns, and boundaries. Regular and candid conversations can help establish trust and foster a safe space for everyone involved. Consent is paramount at every step of the process, ensuring that all actions are agreed upon and comfortable for everyone.

How to Find the Perfect Unicorn For Your Marriage
How to Find the Perfect Unicorn For Your Marriage

Effective communication and unwavering consent are the cornerstones of successfully finding the perfect unicorn for your marriage. Begin by fostering open dialogues with your partner about your motivations, expectations, and boundaries regarding this unique relationship dynamic.

Prioritise transparency when engaging with potential unicorn partners. Openly discuss intentions, desires, and any concerns to ensure everyone is on the same page. Establish clear boundaries that respect everyone’s comfort zones and emotional well-being. Consent is non-negotiable at every stage. All parties involved must enthusiastically agree to the arrangement, free from any pressure or coercion. Regular check-ins and ongoing conversations are essential to confirm that consent remains enthusiastic and informed.

Incorporate active listening to comprehend the needs and desires of all individuals, building a foundation of trust and mutual respect. Adjustments to boundaries and agreements might be necessary over time, underscoring the significance of continuous, honest communication. By valuing open communication and unwavering consent, you create a safe and respectful environment that allows all participants to explore this unique relationship arrangement with clarity, compassion, and authenticity.

Defining Roles and Expectations:

Clearly defining roles and expectations is crucial in a polyamorous dynamic. Discuss the level of involvement you expect from the unicorn and how it aligns with their own desires. Are they interested in a purely sexual connection, an emotional bond, or a mix of both? Addressing these questions early on can prevent misunderstandings and minimise hurt feelings later.

Clearly defining roles and expectations is pivotal in the search for the perfect unicorn for your marriage. Begin by openly discussing with your partner the roles each of you envisions for the unicorn within your relationship dynamic.

Delineate the emotional and practical involvement you both seek from the unicorn partner. Are you aiming for equal emotional connections with both of you, or is the relationship primarily focused on one of you? Establish boundaries, both physical and emotional, to ensure the comfort and well-being of all parties.

Set realistic expectations regarding the level of commitment and time investment expected from the unicorn. Clearly communicate whether the relationship is intended to be short-term or has the potential for long-term growth. Remember that flexibility is key. As the relationship progresses, roles and expectations might evolve. Regular check-ins with all parties involved are essential to ensure alignment and address any concerns.

Ultimately, establishing clear roles and expectations ensures that everyone involved understands their place in the relationship and contributes to an environment of respect, open communication, and fulfilment for all parties.

Seeking Compatibility:

Compatibility is as important in a polyamorous relationship as it is in a monogamous one. Look for shared values, interests, and goals to create a strong foundation. Spend time getting to know potential unicorns individually and as a couple to assess whether the chemistry is right for everyone involved. Remember, a healthy relationship is built on mutual respect and understanding.

Seeking compatibility is paramount when searching for the perfect unicorn to complement your marriage. Start by reflecting on your own values, interests, and relationship goals, and then engage in open discussions with your partner to identify shared desires and areas where a unicorn could enhance your dynamic.

When interacting with potential unicorn partners, prioritise compatibility in terms of emotional connection, communication styles, and sexual preferences. Look for someone whose values align with yours and who embraces the unique nature of your relationship. Ensure that the unicorn’s expectations and desires are also in harmony with your own. Honest conversations about roles, boundaries, and long-term aspirations are crucial to establishing mutual compatibility.

How to Find the Perfect Unicorn For Your Marriage
How to Find the Perfect Unicorn For Your Marriage

Remember that finding the right match takes time; don’t rush the process. Embrace opportunities to get to know potential unicorns on a deeper level before committing. Trust your instincts and be willing to adjust your search criteria as you learn more about what truly resonates with your relationship. In essence, seeking compatibility means valuing shared connections, open dialogue, and a genuine alignment of values, leading to a harmonious and fulfilling dynamic among all involved parties.

Respect Individuality:

While you may be entering into a relationship as a unit, it’s vital to remember that the unicorn is an individual with their own needs and desires. Avoid treating them as an object to fulfil your fantasies. Take the time to understand their personality, preferences, and boundaries. Valuing their uniqueness will contribute to a more harmonious and fulfilling relationship for everyone.

Respecting individuality is fundamental when embarking on the journey to find the perfect unicorn for your marriage. Recognize that each person involved brings their own unique identity, needs, and desires to the table. Begin by fostering open conversations with your partner about the qualities you both value in a unicorn partner. Embrace the idea that the unicorn’s individuality should enrich your relationship rather than conform to preconceived notions.

Appreciate that the unicorn may have their own set of interests, aspirations, and boundaries. Allow them the space to express themselves freely and communicate their expectations within the relationship. Maintain a willingness to adapt and evolve. As the relationship progresses, individual preferences and dynamics may change. Regular check-ins with all parties involved ensure that everyone’s needs are met and respected.

By valuing and respecting the individuality of each participant, you create an environment where everyone can thrive, fostering a sense of autonomy, understanding, and unity that enhances the overall quality of the relationship.

Navigating Jealousy and Insecurity:

Emotions like jealousy and insecurity are natural, even in polyamorous relationships. It’s important to address these feelings openly and without judgement. Establish strategies for managing these emotions as they arise. This might involve setting aside time for open discussions, seeking professional guidance, or practising self-care techniques.

Navigating jealousy and insecurity is crucial when seeking the perfect unicorn for your marriage. Recognize that these emotions can arise due to the complex nature of adding a third person to your relationship. Open communication with your partner is essential. Acknowledge any feelings of jealousy or insecurity, and work together to understand their root causes. Avoid blame and instead focus on addressing concerns as a team.

Educate yourselves about the common challenges that can arise in such arrangements. Learning about jealousy management strategies and effective communication techniques can be invaluable in addressing these emotions constructively. Prioritise creating a safe and inclusive environment for the unicorn. Their feelings and concerns should also be considered and respected. Regular check-ins with all parties involved can help to address any issues promptly and avoid misunderstandings.

Remember that jealousy and insecurity can be natural responses, but with empathy, patience, and understanding, they can be managed. By actively addressing these emotions, you contribute to a healthier, more fulfilling relationship for all parties involved.

Creating a Safe Environment:

Physical and emotional safety should be a top priority. Establish ground rules for practising safe sex, and consider regular STI testing to protect everyone’s health. Emotional safety involves creating an environment where all parties feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and concerns without fear of judgement or reprisal.

Creating a safe environment is paramount when embarking on the journey to find the perfect unicorn for your marriage. Prioritize open and honest communication with your partner and potential unicorn partner, ensuring that all voices are heard and respected. Set clear boundaries that prioritise the emotional and physical well-being of everyone involved. Establish a foundation of trust by consistently adhering to these boundaries and respecting individual limits.

Foster an atmosphere of mutual respect and consent. Regularly check in with all parties to ensure that everyone is comfortable and enthusiastic about the arrangement, and be willing to make adjustments as needed.

Address any concerns or conflicts promptly and with empathy. A safe environment encourages open discussions about feelings, expectations, and any challenges that arise, allowing for timely resolutions and growth.

Ultimately, by creating a safe environment, you cultivate a foundation of trust, respect, and understanding. This paves the way for a successful and harmonious relationship where all participants can explore, connect, and thrive.

Taking It Slow:

Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither is a strong, sustainable polyamorous relationship. Take your time getting to know your unicorn and allow the relationship to evolve naturally. Rushing into things can lead to misunderstandings and unintended hurt. Patience and gradual progress can lay the foundation for a lasting and fulfilling connection.

Taking it slow is vital when searching for the perfect unicorn to integrate into your marriage. Rushing the process can lead to misunderstandings and emotional challenges. Start by openly discussing your motivations, expectations, and boundaries with your partner. Align on your shared goals and the pace at which you want to proceed.

When engaging with potential unicorn partners, prioritise building a solid foundation through meaningful conversations. Take the time to understand their desires, boundaries, and aspirations to ensure compatibility. Avoid the pressure to rush into intense emotional connections or physical intimacy. Allow all parties involved to establish a gradual rapport and comfort level.

Regular check-ins with your partner and the unicorn are essential to gauge feelings, assess the pace, and address any concerns. Be ready to adjust your approach as you all navigate this unique journey together. By taking it slow, you provide space for authentic connections to develop and ensure that all individuals are comfortable, fostering an environment of trust, understanding, and sustainable growth within your evolving relationship.

Here are some tips on how to find the perfect unicorn for your marriage:

Be clear about what you’re looking for: 

What are your expectations for a unicorn? Are you looking for someone to be a sexual partner, a romantic partner, or both? Are you looking for someone to join you in your everyday life, or just for occasional dates? The more clear you are about what you want, the easier it will be to find someone who is a good fit.

Use online dating sites and apps:

There are a number of online dating sites and apps specifically designed for people who are looking for polyamorous relationships. These sites can be a great way to meet potential unicorns.

How to Find the Perfect Unicorn For Your Marriage
How to Find the Perfect Unicorn For Your Marriage

Attend polyamorous events:

There are a number of polyamorous events that are held all over the world. These events can be a great way to meet potential unicorns in person.

Be open-minded:

Don’t be afraid to meet people who are different from you. The perfect unicorn for you may not be someone who you would typically be attracted to. Be open-minded and give everyone a chance.

Finding the perfect unicorn for your marriage can be a challenge, but it’s definitely possible. By following these tips, you’ll be well on your way to finding someone who is a great addition to your relationship.

Here are some additional tips for finding the perfect unicorn for your marriage:

  • Be honest and upfront about your expectations.
  • Be respectful of your unicorn’s time and boundaries.
  • Communicate openly and honestly with your unicorn.
  • Be willing to compromise.
  • Make sure that everyone is on the same page about what they want out of the relationship.

With a little patience and effort, you can find the perfect unicorn for your marriage.


Finding the perfect unicorn for your marriage is a complex journey that demands open communication, mutual respect, and a commitment to personal growth. While it may not be without its challenges, the rewards can be profound—a deeper emotional connection, enhanced intimacy, and an enriched shared life. By approaching the process with mindfulness and empathy, you can create a harmonious and fulfilling relationship dynamic that all parties cherish.